Some days, moms just want to crawl in bed and pretend she’s childless again. We want the whole day erased, completely undone, as if it had never happened. We cannot believe how our kids can be so rotten, or how we could have behaved so shamefully. When will this day be over? When will we get the chance to hit the reset button, that is if we dare get out of bed tomorrow to start all over again. Maybe we can call in a sick day? But even sick days now are no good, not like the kind that we can truly relax in pre-kids and pre-responsibilities. Where is the light at the end of the tunnel? Where is the rainbow after the storms? 
All moms need a little encouragement now and then–even the ones that look good, like they have it altogether. We forget in the busy-ness of life that raising kids can be the most grueling job on the planet. Kids will be kids, and adults are really just big kids. We have our faults, too, and no mom can be super without a kryptonite weakness of some sort. I know what mine are, and I’m too embarrassed to tell you. I’ve learned to keep my kids’ dirty secrets so that they don’t air out my nasty laundry. We are a team, so we try to keep our conflicts, power struggles, meltdowns, and other dysfunctions behind closed doors. Maybe that’s what makes some families look more “put together” than others? Maybe they work things out together at the end of the day before they go out to tackle the world? Maybe they laugh and cry together? They let each other down, apologize, forgive, make amends, and then repeat. They get back up after a painful fall. They dare to try again, believe in each other, give each other the benefit of the doubt. I want to be the kind of mom that my kids will say after all that’s happened, “Well, I don’t care what you say about my mom, I love her and she’s the best mom for me!”
Well, I don’t care what you think about my kids. I love them and I wouldn’t trade them for any other children in the world! I’m going to make sure that my kids hear this from me, feel this deep commitment and acceptance, and get full affirmation. Then we’ll work on the areas they need improvement in. We’ll learn together. I will model what it looks like to be utterly broken, and then go forward anyways. I’ll read books, talk to other moms, get mentors, meet with a counselor, take classes… whatever it is, I will do what it takes to show my kids that I’m not giving up. I’m not beaten down completely. I’m “rising strong” as Researcher Brene Brown calls it. Yes, I will be ready to lead them in honesty and hope again. Just let me get some sleep first. That, and a nice Calgon bath! What lifts you up?
Kim Parker, LCSW 